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05 February 2013 @ 04:15 pm
Fic Post: Holding on to the Pieces  
Title: Holding on to the Pieces
Author: Montiese
Category: AU/Angst/Drama/Romance
Pairing: Hotch/Megan
Rating: TEEN
Summary: No matter what Aaron was always there for her and she’d taken him on plenty of roller coaster rides.
Author’s Note: This story is written in the Thicker than Water universe where the BAU are kids and teens.

“Hey.” Megan knocked on the door and poked her head in.


“What's the matter?”

“I didn’t get in.” Hotch held up the envelope.


She walked into the bedroom and closed the door. Hotch looked devastated; his eyes were red as if he’d been crying. Megan wasn’t sure what to do. A few times in their relationship she’d been the comforter. But it was never for anything big and she wasn’t good at it.

“Columbia rejected me.” Hotch said as she sat on the bed. “Well, they didn’t flat out reject me. I'm supposedly on a waiting list. I’d rather the damn rejection…that list isn’t ever going to move.”

“It’s their loss, Aaron.” she put her arm around his shoulder. “They just lost out on a smart, well-rounded, very handsome alumnus.”

“What if you get into Barnard? What if you get in and we can't go away together?”

“Hey, that is not going to happen. I go where you go. If it’s not New York then maybe it'll be Boston or Philly. No matter what, we are in this together.”

“You want to go to New York.” He mumbled.

“I want to go with you.” she corrected.

“I don’t even believe this.”

Megan took the envelope from him and turned it around in her hands.

“Do you want to set it on fire?”

“What?” he looked at her with wide hazel eyes.

“Don’t look at me like that, Aaron Hotchner. For centuries fire has been a method of cleansing the spirit. That’s why supposed demons and witches were burned at the stake. It’s not just about destruction, though this time I can admit to a bit of both.”

“I don't know.”

“It’s OK.” Megan said. “We can do whatever you want. The truth is I don’t think you should keep it. I know you; you’ll be 40 years old, successful, and still pull this letter out to look at as a reminder of what you think of as your shortcomings.”

“I can admit that’s probably true.” Hotch nodded.

“So let's burn it.”

“You're really giddy about it.”

“Not about your rejection; never that.” she kissed his shoulder. “It’s just been a while since I indulged in my darker temptations.”

“Burn it then. I don’t care.” He shrugged.

“You do care.” Megan put the envelope on the bed. She turned to face Hotch, taking both of his hands. “That’s why I love you, because you care. You hurt and feel like you're not good enough and I’ll probably never find the words to make you feel better. I'm gonna stay anyway.”

“I think I want to keep it for a little while.” He took the envelope again.

“OK.” She nodded. “Have you gotten any other letters yet?”

“No, I figure the rejections come first so I don’t mind the wait. Have you gotten any?”

“No. I am so sorry.”

“Thank you.”

“Do you want me to give you a happy ending?” Megan asked, resting her head on his shoulder when she asked.

“I'm not in the mood for sex.” He replied. “I just want to close my eyes and forget everything.”

“Should I leave?”

“You better not.” Hotch held her tighter. “I don’t want to be…I don’t want to feel alone.”

“I'm not going anywhere.” Megan shook her head.

They just held onto each other on the bed. There weren't a lot of words to say and no reason to speak. Megan would give him every ounce of her energy if she had to. No matter what Aaron was always there for her and she’d taken him on plenty of roller coaster rides. It wasn’t just a sense of obligation or reciprocity that kept her there. She loved him, and when he hurt she did too.

“I know something that might help.” She whispered.


“I want you to take off all of your clothes. Don’t worry, I plan to keep my hands to myself…mostly.” She smiled when he gave her a skeptical eye. “Trust me Aaron.”

He smiled, it was sad but he did it anyway. Then he got up from the bed and took off his clothes.

“Boxer briefs too; you can leave the socks.”

Hotch dropped his boxer briefs. He gathered up his clothes, throwing the jeans over the desk chair. The rest of the clothes went into the hamper. Walking around completely naked, except for sports socks, should've felt weirder than it did. Hotch was used to being naked with Megan while never being sure he would be used to being naked.

“Get into bed please.” She said.

He nodded, burrowing under the sheets and blankets. He watched as Megan slowly undressed. She unzipped her boots, taking them off. Then her sweater, jeans, bra, and panties hit the carpet. Before climbing over him and into his bed, Megan turned off the lights.

He exhaled as she spooned behind him, wrapping him in her embrace. The weight of her breasts on his back relaxed him. Megan stroked his belly and hummed softly in his ear. They would get through this rough patch too.

Aaron was strong and so was she. Together they were stronger than they could ever be apart. Hotch’s breath hitched in his throat as her hand moved lower on his belly. She stroked the hair on his groin.

“Just relax,” she whispered in his ear. “I'm not going to do anything funny, Aaron. Girl scouts honor.”

“You're a bad girl.” he laughed a bit.

“That’s only when I wanna be…only when you want me to be.”

“Good, bad, or somewhere in between, I love you.”

“I love you too.” Megan kissed behind his ear.

Hotch just relaxed against her, her touch lulling him to sleep. It wouldn’t be the first time Megan had ever done that but it might be one of the most important. He couldn’t believe that Columbia rejected him. There was always Fordham but what if they didn’t want him either.

Hotch applied to top schools, the cream of the crop. What if he was setting himself up for failure? What if he ended up having to stay local while Megan went out and explored the world? What if he was forever trapped in the attic?

“You're tense again.” Megan’s voice was the most soothing he’d ever heard.

“I need to stop thinking.”

“You need a happy ending…those always blow your mind.”

Hotch laughed. He was pretty sure it wasn’t happy but it wasn’t entirely mirthless either. His girlfriend really enjoyed sex and she had no problem expressing it. She definitely didn’t mind expressing it to and with him. He turned in her arms and looked at her.

“What if I can't…?” finishing the sentence was too embarrassing.

“Aaron, you're a healthy 17 year old boy. I could sneeze on you and you'd get, and keep, an erection.” She kissed him. “It’s not going to solve every problem or any problem really, but it will put you to sleep. Then we get up to fight the battle for another day.”

“Yeah.” he nodded.

“So, lie back and relax; I'm always going to take care of you.”

He did, and let her do her thing. It was hard for Hotch to allow himself to believe sometimes that Megan enjoyed being sexual with him. She wasn’t like most teenage girls. And he never wanted to feel as if he was using her so he could get laid all the time. She was right though.

It wasn’t going to solve the problem. It would just get him to tomorrow. Then Hotch would have to find something to get him to the next day and the day after that. Columbia wasn’t going to happen. Hopefully sometime soon he’d have an idea of what was.


Where am I?: the lair
Feelings: sicksick
Background Noise: silence