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01 December 2012 @ 08:44 pm
Fic Post: Dahlias and Quarter Moons  
Title: Dahlias and Quarter Moons
Author: Montiese
Category: AU/Friendship/Humor/Romance
Characters: David Rossi, Spencer Reid, Elle Greenaway, Erin Strauss
Pairing: Rossi/Strauss
Rating: TEEN
Summary: “Spencer, don’t make me come over there and bop you one.”
Author’s Note: This story is written in the universe where the BAU are house pets. Each character is a dog or a cat. I’m hoping to write a series of shorts but right now I'm enjoying it as it comes. This is #2 in the Pet Sounds series.

“Why am I doing this instead of you?”

“There are a couple of good answers for that.”

“Are you gonna give them to me?”

“Not right now because you should be digging and not talking.”

“Aww c'mon,” Reid stopped digging through the dirt. “If we get caught the nice doctor lady will come outside and be mad at me. She might tell mama, I might get into trouble.”

“Nah, not gonna happen.”

“And how do you know?”

“Because I'm the bigger dog and therefore I'm smarter. Keep digging, Reid.”

The beagle puppy sighed and continued to dig. He had no idea how he got caught up in this mess. Maybe he should've listened to Alex this morning when she told him not to go out with Rossi. It wasn’t as if the big old dog didn’t like him but they rarely hung out.

Rossi kept to himself, or he played with the black lab that lived across the street. He hardly ever made time for the puppy. This morning he seemed all about it, hanging out as men do and all that stuff he said. Spencer had a feeling he’d been had.

“You see you’re smaller, and you can get in there and get what you need without destroying everything.” Rossi said. He said it in his teacher voice that he used sometimes with Reid. The little beagle was smart as hell but had no life skills. Rossi wasn’t in the mood to mentor a pup. He would leave it to Blake…not that she was so street smart.

So someone had to make sure Reid knew how to do all the cool dog things there were to do. Spencer was close with Gideon, the cat down the block, but a cat couldn’t teach a dog anything. That was Rossi’s philosophy anyway. Cats were OK and all, no need to discriminate, but everyone knew dogs were better. “So then we get what we need and get out of here. Are you done digging yet?”

“Almost.” Spencer replied. “These roots are down far.”

“Don’t dig to the roots, kid. I just want a few flowers; I don’t want the rest to die. Then the doctor lady will be seriously pissed.”

“And I’ll be in trouble.”

“Reid, Reid, Reid, you’ve got to stop worrying about yourself. Sometimes a dog has to stand up and do something simply because it must be done. The consequence to one’s self isn’t always what it’s about.”

“Are you serious?” the beagle was skeptical. “You're not even doing anything.”

“Hey now, I'm the lookout. You can't do stuff you're not supposed to be doing, even if it must be done, without a proper lookout.”

“And just what do you think you're doing?”

“Oh God, we’re caught.” Reid froze in place. He was just a few seconds away from grabbing the flowers and bolting out of there and now he was caught. Visions of the pound, where he’d never been but heard horror stories of, danced through his head. He felt dizzy.

“We aren’t caught…it’s just the Furball.” Rossi said.

“Hey, watch your mouth big head.” Elle came closer to the giant dog without a care in the world. Rossi was gigantic, probably over 60 pounds, but she wasn’t afraid of him. Elle wasn’t afraid of anything. Defending her yard was her job and her right. These two dogs had some explaining to do.

“Nothing to see here, Elle.” Rossi waved her away with his paw. “We’re almost through.”

“Don’t tell me that there's nothing to see. What are you even doing in my yard?”

“Rossi said…”

“Spencer, don’t talk to the cat. Just dig.”

“Hey, don’t dig there!” Elle exclaimed. She finally looked at what Spencer was doing. “The doctor lady loves those flowers. I'm gonna tell her.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

“Are you threatening me Rossi?” her eyes flashed brimstone.

“Hey, no need to go all Sylvester Stallone out here. Spencer is gonna put everything back like he found it. Doctor Lady won't be the wiser.”

“I got ‘em.” Spencer grabbed a mouthful, which for him was probably two or three flowers, and pulled them up from the ground. He brought them over to Rossi and then went back to fill the hole.

“Good job, Pup. Excellent job.” The Chesapeake Bay retriever smiled.

Spencer smiled too. Approval, especially by the older dog, meant a lot to him. He still didn’t want to get caught and in any trouble but hanging out with Rossi was fun. Today it was messier than he’d hoped but it was still fun.

“Spencer, if that flower bed doesn't look just like it did last night you're gonna be in for it.” Elle said.

“I'm trying.” The beagle replied.

“Yeah well you better try hard because I defend this yard. If the doctor lady thinks squirrels, or beagles, get in on my watch then I'm of no use to her. I'm not going back to the pound for you.”

“Oh my God, she might send you to the pound.” Spencer was horrified.

“Don’t listen to her Spencer.” Rossi glared at Elle. “She's trying to trick you. Zone her out.”

“Just hurry up and get out of my yard. You're lucky I'm not in the mood for a fight today.”

“Yes, I feel as if my life has been spared.”

“Has anyone ever told you that you're a bastard Rossi?” she asked.

“Mmm hmm, that’s happened a few times. Look, I guess I owe you one for not blabbing about the flowers. I pay my debts, cat.”

“Good because I collect mine. Now I'm going to turn around and go back to where I came from and pretend this unfortunate meeting never took place. Goodbye.”

“Bye Elle.” Spencer stopped refilling the hole long enough to wave. “Tell JJ I said hello.”

“Tell her yourself loverboy; surely she’ll be out for some sunshine later.”

Elle walked away and when Spencer looked at Rossi again, the retriever was just staring at him. The puppy blushed and went back to filling the hole. He knew he had to get this right.

“You're gonna have to get over it Spencer.”

“I have no idea what you're talking about.”

“Yeah you do.”

“I don’t.” he shook his head.

“I'm talking about the tabby cat.” Fine, if he was gonna play dumb than Rossi would let him. It couldn’t have been easy since even as a puppy Spencer was annoyingly brilliant. Of course a big brain didn’t mean everything out here in the world.

“What tabby cat?”

“Spencer, don’t make me come over there and bop you one.”

“She's nice OK, that’s all. There’s nothing wrong with liking someone who’s nice to you.”

“It can never be. You two aren’t even the same species.”

“I don’t like JJ OK?”

Rossi made a gruff noise with his throat but Spencer ignored him. What he felt about JJ was no one’s business. It was never meant to be, Rossi was right. He wasn’t cool enough, and some of the cooler cats in the neighborhood were trying to get her attention.

He was just a puppy. But she was always so kind to him and sometimes let him hang out when she sunned on the back deck. She also listened to him, which not a lot of people did. Gideon always did, and he was a cat too, so maybe listening was a cat thing.

One day Spencer would be a big dog and maybe it would be lame to hang out with cats. He didn’t know much about that yet. But right now he liked it and no one was going to make him feel weird about it. Not even one of the dogs he looked up to.

“The hole is filled again.” he said.

“Stamp down on it nice and tight so the flowers don’t die.” Rossi said, turning to look at it. Yeah, the kid had done a good job. Rossi could’ve gotten it done in about 5 minutes on his own but he would've destroyed the flower bed. He probably could’ve also gotten out of there before being caught but the doctor lady didn’t deserve that. Her flowers were nice, which was why he was stealing them in the first place. “Let’s get out of here.”

He gave Reid a head start just in case trouble was behind them. A cat could never be trusted and Elle could be trusted even less than that. But nothing happened and they made it out of the garden unscathed. Rossi had his flowers; they were worth the debt he now owed to the smoky grey evil cat.

“What are we gonna do now Rossi?” Spencer asked.

“You're going home kid. I got a stop to make.”

“I can't go to Erin’s house with you?”

“Whoa, whoa, no one said anything about going to Erin’s house.”

“I dug those flowers up for another girl?”

“You dug them up for reasons, yes, but no one said anything about Strauss.”

“Wow, and I thought I was touchy about JJ.”

“That bopping is still on the table, pup.”

“Do I really have to go home?” Spencer asked.

“Yes.” Rossi nodded. “Go and hang out with Alex. Have a midday snack or maybe have one of the kids take you for a walk. You’ll learn, when you get older, there are some things a man must do on his own. I’ll watch from here to make sure you get there OK.”

“I'm not a baby.” Reid cringed because the way it came out of his mouth, in a little defiant chirp in which his voice went up at least one octave, he sounded like a baby.

“No, you're not, but I'm still the bigger dog. It’s my job to look after you so get…and I’ll watch.”

“OK, Rossi. Well, good luck.”

“I don’t need luck kid. But thanks.”

Spencer smiled and then took off down the street. He was going back to the house he shared with Alex, Rossi, and their human family. Now that he thought about it, a midday snack sounded good. Digging was hard work.

As soon as Rossi saw that Spencer was back under the secret flap in the gate, he looked both ways and crossed the street. It was a weekday, Thursday if Dave wasn’t mistaken, and a lot of the humans weren't around. That was better for him. This was the suburbs though. Some of the moms didn’t work; some of the richer people just always seemed to be home.

It didn’t matter to him, she was home, and he was about to come calling. He went to the side door. It was their established meeting place though she always tended to see him begrudgingly. Dave didn’t like to brag but the ladies enjoyed his company. His six or so years in the suburbs had been good years. He even sired a litter once.

But then his pups and Carolyn, the chocolate lab he declared his wife, moved away. Rossi said he was through with love after that and had nearly stuck to it. Romance, and a backyard romp or two, wasn’t love. Love ripped your heart out and stomped on it. He didn’t mean to fall for Erin Strauss…he meant to ignore her. She was a Cocker Spaniel; that wasn’t his type anyway.

From the moment she moved into the cul-de-sac something about her drew him in. He fought, valiantly, but lost. So here he was with a mouthful of dahlias scratching on the side door like nothing more than a love struck pup. Rossi needed to get control of himself. That didn’t seem like it was going to happen anytime soon when he saw the cocker spaniel prancing toward him.

“What are you doing here?” Erin asked as she pushed the sliding glass door open.

Tracy rarely left it locked, the dog thought the eight year old might be on to her romance with the retriever and approve. Erin didn’t even know if she approved. He had Lothario written all over him. The last thing she needed was to get pregnant and dumped. Her virtue was quite important to her and she didn’t know if Dave Rossi had virtue. He could do really sweet things though. The flowers were a nice touch.

“I brought you flowers.” he laid them at her feet. “I don’t know what kind they are but they were the prettiest in the yard.”

“You stole these?”

“I borrowed them.”

“Borrow infers that you'll return them.” Erin said.

“OK then um…I kinda stole them. But do you like them?”

“Stealing is wrong, David.”

“Stealing is a strong word.” Dave said. “Do you like them?”

“They're beautiful.” The cocker spaniel smiled. “And they’re called dahlias.”

“How did you know that?”

“Mrs. Belle is interested in botany so she talks to Dr. Howard. I know she grows dahlias and other beautiful flowers. You didn’t have to do this.”

“I wanted to see you smile.”

“Well thank you. I’ll have to leave them out here.” Erin bent and smelled them. Stealing was wrong but they were beautiful and smelled so nice. “I don’t want Mrs. Belle to think I stole them.”

“She's seen me around.” Dave said. “I'm sure she’ll know the rogue retriever is responsible.”

“No doubt.” Erin concealed her smile. “I need to get back inside. Tracy is watching TV but if she notices I'm gone…”

“Come out tonight. I’ll get out of my yard and we’ll…”

“We absolutely will not David Rossi.”

“I wasn’t going to say that. I was going to say we’d walk and talk and spend a little time together.”

“What time should I come out?” Erin asked.

“I haven’t mastered that time thing yet. I'm working on it.”

“OK, well there's a quarter moon tonight. Can you see Doc Rawlings house from yours?”

“Yeah.” Dave nodded.

“Come to the side door when the moon is directly over the high roof of his house. I’ll see you then.” Erin sighed and gently licked him.

She turned, walking into the house before she could see the smug look on Rossi’s face. She had no idea what she was thinking. Usually avoiding the bad news types was her way. Something about David was more than that though. He could be sweet and even though he couldn’t tell time yet, he was smart.

He always treated her with respect and never tried to climb on her as some other male dogs in her life had. So many had called Strauss a bitch…she was beginning to think it was about more than her gender and species. With every moment they spent together she just waited for David to turn into one of those dogs. He had yet to display any kind of behavior like that.

He was smug, overconfident, and could definitely be a pain in the butt but she liked him anyway. Erin planned to let a little of her guard down though she still thought caution was the best route to take. She was a very smart dog. There was no way to be with David Rossi and stay on the safe side of the street for very long.


Where am I?: the lair
Feelings: calmcalm
Background Noise: Deadly Women on ID
hollywoodgodshollywoodgods on December 2nd, 2012 07:41 am (UTC)
I can't believe that you have me salivating over a story about dogs and cats? I'm a little embarrassed to admit that I find Rossi and Strauss just as sexy in dog form as I do in human. Good Gravy, I may have to start seeing a shrink again, And I love that puppy Reid is smitten with JJ the cat.
SSA McGeek: Dave Rossi....hey babymcgarrygirl78 on December 2nd, 2012 02:00 pm (UTC)
Ultimately, one of the things I love about these characters is how alive they are in whatever universe they're in. So yeah, dogs and cats made me shake my head for a moment when I first thought of it and think maybe I was going crazy, but I opened my mind and listened for the characters. If they wanted it, they would come. And they surely did...so I knew I was doing the right thing. I am already in love with Rossi and Strauss in this universe. He's the neighborhood badass and she's the princess and he's going to make her fall in love with him no matter what....or so he hopes.

I definitely hope there are more adventures in the future. The third one is in my head but it doesnt deal with this ship, except some vague conversation here and there. I just need a name for the series but havent come up with a thing yet.

So glad you're enjoying it though : )
purplediamond87purplediamond87 on December 2nd, 2012 05:17 pm (UTC)
This was the last thing I'd expected to see and yet strangely, it works.
The whole Strauss/Rossi thing translates really well, and even Reid, JJ and Elle seem just right as they are.
I'll definately be interested to see where this universe can go.
SSA McGeek: Erinmcgarrygirl78 on December 2nd, 2012 05:28 pm (UTC)
I actually just finished my 3rd story in this universe that has no name. Its dealing with Gideon, Prentiss, and Penelope, who are cats. OK, anyway...I love Rossi and Strauss in this universe. I'm not sure how much I will write but something new, exciting, and different is such fun for me. And its great that readers are coming along, that always means to much to me : )
(Deleted comment)
SSA McGeek: David Rossi....smirkaliciousmcgarrygirl78 on December 4th, 2012 07:59 pm (UTC)
Yeah, I just figured they werent your thing, and that's totally cool, but I introduced some other characters in this story as well and I thought if you liked the universe you wouldnt want to miss it : )
Panda and SquirrelSesameSquirrel on December 5th, 2012 03:58 am (UTC)
Lady and the Tramp
"...and even though he couldn’t tell time yet, he was smart." HYSTERICAL! You've captured their personalities so well, and visualizing Strauss as a shrewd Cocker, Reid as a Beagle pup, and Rossi as strutting Retriever is cracking me up! (Elle as a faintly malevolent cat is brilliant.)
SSA McGeek: Awesomemcgarrygirl78 on December 5th, 2012 11:36 am (UTC)
Re: Lady and the Tramp
I'm glad you enjoyed it. I love Elle as the faintly malevolent cat, I think it does fit perfectly. Hopefully there will be more in the future because these characters were quite loud when they wanted attention.
VC_forever: Hotch_cookievc_forever on December 6th, 2012 12:34 am (UTC)
Cats were OK and all, no need to discriminate,
Aaww, I loved this! Subliminal messages of peace FTW! : )

Spencer as a puppy... Should have guessed. And WHY DID I GOOGLE BEAGLE PUPPIES??? Now I kind of want one... : |
Have I ever mentioned that Cocker Spaniels are my favourite breed of dog in the whole wide world? And that I love them even more than the uber adorable Beagle puppies?

Rossi/Strauss. I actually DID guess that one! And they're adorable in all universes. Of course Erin would point out that "borrowing" implies "returning"... She's smart like that! : )
Rossi's speech about the consequences to oneself and Reid's "WTF?!" reply were hilarious, especially when it turned out Rossi was a lousy lookout! : D Poor Reid, though; the prospect of going to the pound is daunting indeed...
Also, you know Elle will totally collect that favour from Rossi! I kinda miss Elle sometimes... 1x09 was on the other day and it was nice seeing Gideon and Elle again.

I can't wait to read the next story in the series! Tomorrow, though, 'cause now it's almost 1 a.m. Sweet dreams!
SSA McGeek: Erin...In Name and Bloodmcgarrygirl78 on December 6th, 2012 12:43 am (UTC)
Spencer will always be the baby of the family...he had to be a puppy. And beagles are a great combination of smart and overactive. That fits him to a tee.

I loved writing Elle in this. She's kinda the neighborhood badass, of the cats anyway. She doesnt take any crap and probably fights a lot, sends other cats home crying to their mamas : )

It took me a long time to figure out what kind of dog Erin would be. Nothing was speaking to me and that's weird because I know her character so well. As soon as I saw the cocker spaniel I knew. Its the floppy, furry ears, which kinda reminded me of her blonde hair that won out in the end. They're so regal and beautiful. It wasnt until some people reminded me of Lady and the Tramp (after I picked her) that I wanted to change her. But once I character speaks I have to let them tell their story. I dont get to interfere too much.

Sweet dreams! There are two more and I'm working on a fifth where I may or may not introduce Clyde Easter. I have a lot of the conversation in my head I'm just trying to translate it to paper. Even if 5 stories are all I ever write, this has been such fun! I'm glad you're liking it so far.