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05 October 2012 @ 10:22 pm
Fic Post: All This I Should've Known, Part 5/6  
Title: All This I Should've Known
Author: Montiese
Category: AU/Drama/Friendship/Humor/Romance
Characters: Emily Prentiss, Aaron Hotchner, Jason Gideon, Jordan Todd, Coop, Sam Kassmeyer, Erin Strauss, David Rossi, Derek Morgan, Jennifer Jareau, Elle Greenaway, Jessica Brooks, Clyde Easter
Pairing: Hotch/Prentiss
Rating: TEEN
Summary: Every year cadets clamored for a position and the truth was that most couldn’t cut it. Emily Prentiss could surely cut it but that didn’t mean she belonged there.
Author’s Note: Since this is an AU anything that’s been on Criminal Minds in the past six seasons may show up in this fic. I started this over a year ago because I was secretly watching Grey’s Anatomy and I wanted to do a CM meets Grey’s Anatomy fic so I could make Hotch ‘McDreamy’. Yes, it’s true. But I knew I wasn’t comfortable writing them as doctors and so this scenario was born. Thanks to everyone who listened to me ramble about how epic or ridiculously cracktastic this idea would be.

(Part 1)
(Part 2)
(Part 3)
(Part 4)

“You're dropping your shoulder.”

“Really? Why don’t you tell me something that I don’t fuckin…?” Emily turned around. “Ma'am!”

“Good evening, Cadet Prentiss.” Erin Strauss said.

“What are you doing here?”

“All agents are allowed, and encouraged, to use the range.”

Emily gave a small nod, once again turning to focus her target. The shoulder dropping thing, which was instinctual and difficult to control, was keeping her from reaching her full potential. There was something inside of her that tensed before she pulled the trigger. Even thinking of the target as Strauss or that bastard who knocked her up in Italy when she was a teenager didn’t help.

“It’s a natural reaction.” Erin went on as she opened up her small case and pulled out a beautiful silver Glock. “You drop your shoulder, flinch; hesitate. Any of those moves can be dangerous in the field.”

“I don’t intend to be rude ma'am but I have someone training me. I don’t need advice.”

“You have a large chip on your shoulder, Cadet Prentiss.”

“Where I come from, ma'am, that’s known as the pot calling the kettle black.”

“You don’t know anything about me.” Erin said.

“Well there's something we actually have in common.”

“I have many reasons for doing what I do.”

“I'm sure we all do.” Emily popped off six more shots, liking where the bullets landed as opposed to the last time. There was another test at the range scheduled for next week; it would be the third since classes started. Emily placed third in her group last time and that wasn’t good enough. She could and would do better.

“What made you choose the FBI?”

“I don’t know what you mean.”

Emily stopped what she was doing and looked at the veteran agent. Too bad Coop wasn’t here…he’d probably have a heart attack seeing her in dark rinse boot cut jeans and an oversized grey cashmere sweater. All she needed was a ponytail to look like one of those private school moms. Something about this entire encounter seemed calculated; Emily had a strange feeling in her gut.

All her time at the range and never once had she run into Erin Strauss. She wanted to tell her to leave her alone. This wasn’t the lecture hall; she could be dismissive while being respectful. But what if this was a test? Being an FBI agent wasn’t just about physical strength, completing assignments, and passing written exams. It was also about fidelity, bravery, and integrity.

You were supposed to be an exemplary human being, not just an agent. It was not realistic but a goal to strive for. There would be no bigger tests in that category for Emily than Agent Erin Strauss. Still, she had no intention of ever kissing her ass or anyone else’s. They hadn't had any major clashes since the yawning incident but keeping her distance was the best way to prevent such things. They were too close right now.

“With your family name, pedigree, and education you could’ve done anything you wanted. You chose the FBI. I'm asking you why.”

“You had all of those things as well, ma'am. You chose the FBI.” Emily said.

“I'm asking you, Cadet.”

“It chose me really. And I'm here because I want to be.”

“Why?” Erin asked again.

“Ma'am, I would prefer we not have this conversation. I'm tired and I have so much to do in the next couple of weeks. I came here to be alone; blow off steam. The time will come for exit interviews. Feel free to ask any questions then.”

“I will Cadet.”

Emily pulled her target in and collected it. She took her gun over to the counter, turned it in, and signed out. She didn’t want to be around Erin Strauss anymore. Nearly down to the nub, it was time for a shower and a long night’s sleep.

“Have a nice evening, Agent Strauss.”

“You too, Cadet.”

She was halfway out the door when she ran into Clyde.

“You look like bloody hell.” He said instead of hello. “You're still beautiful, but definitely with a dash of bloody hell.”

“I just have no idea how you're not beating the women off with a stick.” Emily rolled her eyes. “Your flirting skills are second to none.”

“Thank you.” he grinned. “Are you alright, Emily?”

“I'm beat…literally beat. And the devil just walked into the gun range. All I want is a hot shower, a clove, some tea, and some blankets. I really don’t care that it’s barely eight o’clock. I know I can sleep all night.”

“That sounds heavenly.”

“Would you like to join me?” Emily asked before her rational mind could tell her that was a bad idea.

It was such a bad idea. Shower, smoking, and sleeping were always more fun with a partner though. And there was no denying, Emily had tried, Agent Easter was quite an attractive and fun companion. It wasn’t the same as with Hotch and for that she was grateful. She could just let go and have fun with Clyde.

“I'm finding it difficult to say no.”

“There will be no funny stuff, Agent Easter.”

“Then I take it you're not having me join you for the shower portion of the evening?” Clyde asked.

“I’ll think about it as we walk.” Emily put her arm in his. “C'mon.”


“So then he pulled out his gun and said it was the end of me.” Clyde laughed. “It was something straight out of a bad spy movie, I swear.”

“Are you serious?” Emily laughed.

They were spooning in her bed, which wasn’t that easy considering its size, but could be done. They managed to shower together with no funny business. Emily almost died when Clyde washed her hair. Then they had tea, smoked cloves, and got right into bed. The rainbow sock wrapped around her doorknob let Jordan know not to disturb her when she came back to the room.

“I'm serious. There was really nothing I could do but stand there and get shot. He aimed at my chest, fired…and the gun jammed. I beat the hell out of him and got out of Bratislava as fast as I could. I haven’t been back since.”

“That sounds like an adventure.” Emily turned on her back.

“It is adventurous.” He brushed the damp raven hair from her forehead. It had been a while since Clyde had been chaste with a woman in bed. It had probably been before puberty. Why was lying here with Emily Prentiss already in his Top 3 and not a damn thing had happened between them?

If it ever did Clyde might not recover. “It can also be dangerous and scary. I know how much good I'm doing for the world. I love the travel, the intrigue, and the stories I can tell later to impress very beautiful women such as yourself.”

“You must get laid a lot.”

“I really do. I get laid alllllll the time.”

Emily laughed and kissed him. It wasn’t the first time she’d done that but it was the first time naked. She moaned as his body moved against hers. He had a hell of a body.

“I don’t think I’ll ever understand you.” he whispered against her lips.

“Then we’re even because I don’t often understand myself.”

“I don’t want to be a rebound fling, Emily. Please don’t get me wrong, pleasing you sexually would be my profoundest happiness; I'm sure you’d please me too. And I'm surely not asking you to be in love with me if you don’t want to be, but I’d prefer that you not be in love with Profiler Boy if we’re going to go there.”

“I'm trying.” Emily said.

“I know. Don’t rush on my account. I'm probably always going to be crazy about you.”


“Woman…” Clyde laughed, turning Emily on her side and spooning again. He was hungry for her but it wasn’t the right time. He was sure Emily Prentiss had her share of one-night stands and he’d had his share as well. But there was something about her that told him almost from the beginning that one night would never be enough.

“So not tonight?” she asked.

“Not tonight, no. It gives us something to look forward to when we meet again.”

“I'm actually horny as hell right now.”

“If you need to take matters into your own hands, so to speak, I have no problem with that. I’ll just lie here watching with a gleeful look on my face.” Clyde said.

“I bet you would.” She smiled. “I'm just going to sleep it off. Sleep is what I need more than any of it.”

“Then I’ll hold you.”

“Thanks for being here Clyde. Most men would've wanted something more. Most men would've been highly offended thinking they were second banana.”

“I can admit to occasionally being a something more kinda guy. And I'm not second banana…I'm waiting in the wings. There are women in the wings, and lots of adventure.”

“How did you know about that anyway?” Emily asked. “Profiler Boy I mean?”

“One doesn’t need to be a profiler to recognize the guy the girl he has feelings for has feelings for. Whatever he’s done to lose your affections, he's a fool.”

“He hasn’t done anything. It’s just not the right time and it might never be.”

“And I'm done with the National Academy in a week.” Clyde said. “I'm going to do the Yellow Brick Road Obstacle Course and then I'm gone.”

“I know. You need to get some sleep too or at least be quiet so that I can.”

“Being quiet.” He closed his lips.

Clyde wasn’t as tired as Emily seemed to be but be damned if he ever missed an opportunity to hold her. It might be his only one. Emily Prentiss wasn’t the settle down type, not at this point in her life anyway. He couldn’t blame her. He didn’t think he was either.

She was young, beautiful, ambitious, and had the entire world at her feet. Clyde wasn’t going to win her heart, today, especially with Aaron Hotchner running interference. But getting her to Interpol would be a victory. It wasn’t because he was trying to be her man. He just knew it was the perfect fit for her. Now Clyde just had to convince Emily of that.


“I truly hope this won't be seen as a bribe or anything resembling inappropriate.”

“I checked the handbook before I left. A burger and milkshake is just fine. If you would've offered me steak I would've politely declined.”

Emily smiled as she ate her French fries. She’d invited Jason Gideon out for dinner tonight. She was surprised when he said yes. So they met up at the Georgetown Diner on another rainy DC evening.

“You seem to be doing much better.” he said. “I don’t just mean with your training. Your disposition is more positive as well.”

“I'm not sure that my disposition has ever been positive.” Emily replied. “I’d like to think of it as non-negative though. At least it is at the moment.”

“That’s an interesting term. You don’t do many things normally do you?”

“Normal is overrated. I've gotten to know you, somewhat, over these many weeks in the Academy. If you think you're normal Agent Gideon, think again.”

“I don’t.” Jason shook his head.

“Are you going to take me into the BAU?” she asked.

Jason smiled, looking at his watch. “Sixty five minutes. That’s pretty good for someone with your patience level, Cadet Prentiss.”

“Well I'm asking because…”


“I'm quite intrigued by the Interpol Foreign Service Program.”

“Where did you hear about that?” Jason asked.

He knew every cadet was trying to find out about every opportunity afforded them after graduation. While the Interpol program wasn’t a secret, it wasn’t offered up on a platter like field office and liaison positions were. You were picked specifically for it and you had to be picked by someone with some serious backing. Jason knew he was watching Emily Prentiss closely, how hadn't he noticed that someone else was?

“I heard it from Clyde Easter, the agent I met at the mixer. He was training at the National Academy and we began training together. He’s an Interpol Agent.”

“I'm not an expert on it but I know the work is intense and dangerous.”

“I speak five languages fluently, Gideon, one of which is Arabic. That number doubles if you add in my conversational skills. I'm well read and bred, tough, can run on little sleep for days at a time, and there's almost no place in the world I haven’t been and experienced.” Emily said. “It seems like the perfect fit. I could save the world.”

“I think that’s an impossible mission.” Jason replied. “I also think that Interpol sells a glamorous condo that quickly turns into a coldwater flat. Emily, whatever you do you will excel. I truly believe that. I just don’t want you making any hasty decisions.”

“And I don’t want to get stuck in the St. Louis field office pushing paper for six years.” She said. “I swear I'm not trying to short cut my way through this. And I didn’t join the FBI for the wrong reasons. I know I've got to earn my stripes and take my lumps like everyone else. The BAU is my dream; it’s the dream of a lot of those cadets. The Foreign Service would be awesome though. And I am qualified…I'm not asking for a favor. Maybe when I have more experience under my belt its something I’ll look into.”

“That’s what the St. Louis field office is for. We all had to start somewhere.”

“You started in the BAU.”

“Touché. One has to be extraordinary, or be seen as such, to leap from the Academy to the BAU. Even then it’s no easy feat.”

“I'm extraordinary.” Emily smiled.

“There are many people who would agree with that.”

“You wouldn’t, Agent Gideon?”

“I never said that.” Jason shook his head. “I’ve just seen many graduates crash and burn rushing to get out of the starting gate. This job is a mixed bag. There are things that you need to learn that books and interactive lessons can never teach you. No one said a field office in the Midwest, or even on the East Coast, is going to be adventure everyday. But it will be a learning experience you can get in no other way.”

“Well tell me about the BAU liaison positions. Are there any available; I have a friend who’s quite interested in one.”

“Which friend?”

Jason knew most of the cadets Emily hung out with. He didn’t know them personally but had instructed them and watched them grow over their time in the Academy. One of them, Sam Kassmeyer from Boston University, was in the Top 10 poll. There was a strong possibility he could be picked by his fellow cadets to speak at commencement in three weeks.

“Jennifer Jareau.” Emily said. “I’d honestly never heard of the position but she seemed really into it when we were talking. I don't know if there’s space or not, and I know she’s a rookie, like me, but consider her. She’s awesome.”

“I will certainly keep her in mind.”

“Thanks. Thanks for everything, Gideon. I know I couldn’t have been easy to rein in but you stuck with it and I appreciate that. I didn’t even ask you to help me really but you were still there and…people don’t often stay where I come from. I don’t rely on anyone because they won't be there for long.” Emily shook off the emotions boiling up inside of her. “Anyway, I know the burger and milkshake is just a little thing and I know I've been on your last nerve running around like a little yapper dog trying to get you to consider me for the BAU, but I thank you from the bottom of my heart.”

“The heart is a very resilient little muscle.” Jason said.

“Oh my God,” Emily looked at him with wide brown eyes. “You're a Woody Allen fan?”

“Some of the time, yes. It’s quite a true statement, about the heart. It’s the only thing in our bodies that can break over and over again yet still have the capacity to keep us going. There are times we think it will never recover, that we won't, but the heart heals. It will always love and learn and grow again.”

“Let’s not talk about love. I don't want anything to do with that. I want to focus on my career.”

“Forever?” Jason asked.

“I’ll just say for the time being and leave it that at. No more speed bumps or potholes…I need a smooth road.”

“Lets toast to smooth roads.” Jason held up his strawberry milkshake. “They may be a little boring but at least they're smooth.”

“That’s your toast?” Emily raised her eyebrow.

“What's wrong with it? You said you needed a smooth road.”

“What's right with it? C’mon Agent Gideon, you have a Bachelor’s degree from Northwestern and two Masters Degrees, one from Columbia and the other from University of Chicago. I know you can do a better toast than that.”

“Alright then, how about to all the roads we’ll see ahead. Whether they're smooth, bumpy, curvy or even closed, may we never stop driving forward.”

“That’s perfect.” Emily smiled and touched her milkshake cup to his.

“Nothing is perfect.”

“Let me have my moment please.”

“Yes ma'am.” Jason nodded and sipped his milkshake.


“I am in desperate need of one of those.” Jordan made a noise as if she were in pain when she walked out on the portico. She joined Emily on top of one of the benches, smiling when she gave her a clove and a bottle of Mike’s Strawberry Lemonade. “I'm done with studying, D-O-N-E, done. The shit is bananas.”

“I'm just taking a break. I have no idea what essay questions Strauss might pull out of her hat. Truth is we don’t need to know a damn thing she’s taught us to be an agent but she’s going to make sure she pushes us to the limit.”

“Do you think you can get brain tumors from over studying?” Jordan asked. “My head is killing me.”

“You’ve hardly eaten a damn thing in the past couple of days…unless you count Elle Greenaway.”

“Hand to God, all we've been doing is studying. She’s in the process of having a little meltdown about whether or not she's going to make it. The physical stuff is no problem for her…she’ll ace those tests. She’s worried the interactive and book stuff will kick her ass.”

“Tell her to get in line. Studies show cunnilingus eases tension.” Emily said, taking a deep inhale of her clove.

“Really? I swear I'm going to use that to get someone in bed one of these days. That’s a good one. Did you turn in your paper yet?”

“I’ll do it tomorrow. Did you?”

Every cadet was given three choices for field offices. It was mostly ceremonial; the FBI put you wherever the hell they felt like it unless you were requested specifically by someone. Requests could be plentiful from places like Cheyenne and Kalamazoo. New agents went where the jobs were.

“I did.” Jordan nodded. “I picked Seattle, Salt Lake City, and here at Quantico. I want a counterterrorism spot. I think I was impressive in some of the trials. I don’t know how cadets in other quadrants did, and I don't have a fairy godmother like Gideon, but I'm crossing my fingers on that one. I bet you didn’t know it was part of the BAU did you? It’s not the swanky profiler part but it is a part of the NCAVC.”

“Salt Lake City?” Emily looked at her.

She ignored the Gideon jab because she wasn’t quite sure if it was a jab or not. Jordan had never been the kind to believe that Emily used her pedigree to get ahead. She still made fun of her sometimes about it, a friendship thing, but Emily couldn’t tell this time. Since they were all under stress from studying it was better to let it go.

“JJ picked it too.”

“You're following Jennifer Jareau?”

“Following would be the wrong word. Look, there's never going to be anything romantic between us. She’s with Will LaMontagne now. But seriously, who the hell wants to be in a new city and a new job all by themselves? Lots of cadets are trying to double up. We might get lucky. Elle put Seattle on her list too. I really want to stay here and work counterterrorism but I have to keep it real.”

“I have no idea what the hell I want.” Emily said.

“And this makes today different from any other day how?” Jordan asked.

“Can you give me a boost, Jordan, goddamn?”

“I'm sorry. I'm just so stressed and miserable. You’re going to be fine you know. I think Gideon’s just making you think you're not getting this BAU thing so you won't walk around like you own the joint. He’d be an idiot to let you get away, and he's not an idiot.”

“I'm still thinking about Foreign Service. I'm thinking about it a lot.”

“Is this about Clyde Easter? Jordan asked.

“Nope, this is about my childhood wish of being James Bond. Both of them are probably the wrong reasons. I have to grow up, all 800 of us do, and it’s scaring the shit out of me. There will be no more fantasies and games after I walk across that stage. It becomes real life, nine to five, guns and ammo, lunch in a brown bag, hair in a scrunchy life.”

“I’ll kick your ass if I ever see your hair in a scrunchy. Unless we’re at the gym; scrunchies are perfectly OK at the gym.”

They were both laughing, though their hearts weren't completely in it, when Sam came jogging up.

“Hey, I thought you were upstairs studying.” Emily said.

“No, I was getting stressed.” Sam started stretching when he got into the portico. “I decided to go for a run. I was crawling out of my skin.”

“Hey!” Elle walked out of the sliding glass door. “Todd, bring your ass! There's more studying to do and I'm losing my mind in here alone.”

“Do you talk to your mother with that mouth?” Jordan retorted.

“Only on Sundays.” Elle replied.

“Do you want some lemonade, Elle?” Emily asked, holding up the six-pack. “It’s the good stuff.”

“I’ll take one for the road.” Elle came over and grabbed one. “Thanks, Em. C'mon princess lets go.”

“I’ll see you later Em.” Jordan hopped off the table. “We need to finish this conversation.”

“Well you definitely know where to find me.”

She watched Elle and Jordan go back inside. Then she lit another clove and looked at Sam. He was finishing his stretches, bounced up and down on the balls of his feet a few times, and then drank the rest of his Gatorade.

“Do you feel better?” Emily asked.

“I don't know.” He shrugged. “But since the answer isn’t no I’ll call it a victory.”

“Sorry that you weren't picked for the commencement address. It should've been you.”

“Owen Kim is a good cadet; he’ll make a great speech. I don't care about those kinds of things. I’ll be happy to do enough pushups to graduate.”

“You can't still be worried about that?” Emily smiled some.

“It’s better than worrying about all the other things we need to be worried about. In less than two weeks we’re going to be FBI special agents. We’re going to be scattered all over the country trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I still haven’t even told Jessie how I feel about her yet.”

“You’ve implied it, right? I mean I don't know I'm just asking.”

“I think I have. She makes me nervous, you know. It’s a good nervous but it’s still nervous. We’ve kissed, fooled around, but haven’t had sex. I wanted to, she wanted to, it’s just…there was so much going on. And I've watch friends let sex take them right out of the game.”

“Ouch.” Emily put her hand over her heart.

“You know I’m not talking bad about you Emily. But affairs of the heart and FBI elite training do not go hand and hand. Jessie and I only picked one field office out of three in common so the odds of us ending up working together are slim.”

“If you love her you better tell her. There are other ways, Sam. There's email and Skype and hell there's even snail mail. You seem like the love letter sort. Just don’t let something good get away. If it doesn’t work out, it doesn’t work out, but you'll never know if you don’t try.”

“Are you going to try with McDreamy?” he asked, sitting beside her on the bench.

“That’s over and done with. Even if I wouldn’t have found out he’s not really married but married and even if I didn’t want to work in the same unit that he's in, it wasn’t meant to be. You can't build a relationship from a drunken one-night stand. It’s like Murphy’s Law.”

“I don’t even know what that means. I do know that you deserve happiness.”

“I’ll be happy when Gideon invites me into the BAU. Hell, there's a possibility that I could be happy in the right field office for a couple of years until I rack up some experience.”

“Did you pick your top three?” Sam asked.

“No, what about you?”

“I chose Boston, San Francisco, and Newark. Jessie picked San Francisco as well. That would be really far away from my dad though; I want to be closer to home. I'm never going to get him to move from Newberry and that’s OK. I just don’t want to be away. He’s alone now; my brother is off doing his own thing.”

“Your mom passed away right?”

“Yeah, I was seven years old. My father never remarried. What's taking you so long picking your top 3?”

“I have a couple more days. I just want to make sure I make the right decision. I think that’s all I've been trying to do since I got here. It’s not just going to suck being far away from Jessie and your dad. It's gonna suck when you're far away from me too. I kinda like you Sam Kassmeyer.”

“Well there's always email, Skype, and hell even snail mail.” He put his arm around her. They had gotten close over the nearly five months they’d been at Quantico. Sam expected to meet people who made the experience more bearable. He truly hadn't expected to make friends. He was glad to be wrong about that. “You're not shaking me off so easily, Emily Prentiss. I promise.”

“Cross your heart?” she leaned her head on his shoulder. Emily was tired of losing people; she was just tired.

“Cross my heart.”


Where am I?: the lair
Feelings: jubilantjubilant
Background Noise: silence
hgrhfan35hgrhfan35 on October 9th, 2012 09:17 am (UTC)
I realized I had yet to comment. Sorry bout that ;)
Although I do like Clyde, for a moment I thought were going to dive in to bed together ..and they did! Did not like it but then realized nothing was happening at that moment *blush* and I just know off myself that I can be quite judgemental about loose sexual contacts and one-night stands. I am not a prude but I just am not into that. There should be more before you casually jump into the sack. No, I am not some preaching loon going on and on about being married before you can even see someone naked ;)
One more chapter to go after this. I'm looking forward to it in one way but dread it in the other :D
SSA McGeek: Emily Prentiss....smilemcgarrygirl78 on October 9th, 2012 10:35 am (UTC)
Its actually surprising that they did nothing. I didnt know what to expect when she dragged him from the gun range. Younger Emily has little problem with one-night stands and loose sexual contact...it was how she met Hotch after all.

I like Clyde...he's a sexy, fun distraction. But he wants a little more than she does at the moment so I think he is trying to back off while finding it quite difficult because he's crazy about her. I think there is this place in Emily that's crazy about him too but its kinda like Hotch got there first. Its probably a play on Clyde and his epic bad timing. This was the worse.

Yes, one more chapter. I finally finished the story last night and it was no easy feat, it was kicking my ass actually. Now I have to edit it and see how it goes. So it should definitely be up by the end of the week and then it will over. Thanks so much for reading it and commenting. This one was a ball breaker and I never even expected to write it so it was nice to have encouraging words when a post went up : )